Robert Pattinson on Girls, Gettin' Naked & Joe Jonas

Robert Pattinson's on the cover of April’s GQ looking dapper and relatively clean, if also a bit confused.

It's this state of nervous confusion, and not cleanliness ("his clothes smell like he has recently purchased them off the back of someone less fortunate than he," the writer notes), that carries over into the interview, where the actor rambles on and on.

Not that we're complaining, because he touches on just about everything you'd want to know.

So lady rumors first...

As he says, "There’s literally not a single [true] story that could be written about me." And he would know, he's up-to-date on all the Internet gossip since he loves to read about himself "out of a kind of masochistic narcissism."

According to Pattz, it's not true, then, that he's dating some Brazilian model named Annelyse ("I’ve never met her") or trying to steal Camilla Belle from a Jonas Brother ("No. I mean, yeah, yeah, I’m friends with Camilla”) or actually proposed to Kristen Stewart ("I said that in some interview, as a joke—‘Oh, I proposed to her multiple times.’ And then it gets printed: ‘On the set, he proposed multiple times.’ ").

As far as playing the moody emo-vampire Edward Cullen, he owes his initial success to Valium, which he popped before going into the audition. But after that, he read up on the Twilight world and came prepared to bring it. “If you met a guy like [Edward] in real life," he says, "you’d think he was kind of dorky." So he tried to play him more edgy and cool, if that's even possible when suffering from a sparkly skin condition.

His next movie, Little Ashes, a Spanish indie film in which he plays a young Salvador Dalí, is significantly less Twilighty, but that will probably be OK with most of his fans, given this sale: “I was kind of crossing lines of what I thought I was comfortable doing. I had to do all this naked stuff.”

Of course, that was filmed pre-Edward Cullen, and he doesn't have anything lined up after Stephenie Meyers’ tale finally comes to an end. In fact, he says he doesn't even care if it's more acting.

“I’m not massively concerned about doing lots of acting jobs,” he says. “If it all just went, right now, I’d be like, ‘All right. I don’t really care.’ That’s probably a stupid thing to say. But I don’t, really. I think it’d be much worse to do a load of stuff that’s really bad. Because then you can’t go into another career. If you’ve made an idiot out of yourself, you’re never going to be taken seriously, as a lawyer or something, if you’re, like, a joke actor. The only thing I want from anything is to not be embarrassed.”

We don't know if we believe he doesn't care about the whole acting thing, but frankly, he can say whatever he wants, especially things like this:

“OK,” he says. Deep breath. “I f--ked Joe Jonas...I love him.”

Oh, that Rob Pattz, so racy.

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